October 2001
i was confronted
with the dichotomy
of the internet
in the late autumn of 2001.
the attack on America
had specifically affected the content
of our culture, and our national identity.
i attended a concert
by a prestigious English band
at the Riverside Church during the
October of that year.
in Manhattan, security was
prominent.
a week after the show, i found myself in a
bulletin board forum,
the early century precursor
to facebook, and twitter.
a topic caught my attention- the security
at the Riverside Church show, which many
felt was inappropriate.
i wrote to the forum in response
to the topic:
“hey, are you aware that planes flew into the WTC less than
two months ago? could that be the reason for
heightened security?”
member after member of the online group forum
savaged my interpretation of the situation.
“those searches were inappropriate!”
“they negated our personal space!”
“we are not the terrorists!”
“we have no stake in violence, why target us?”
following their compelling statements,
i continued to howl
the content of my rebuttal.
it was an attempt to defend my point of view,
while simultaneously
regarding criticism
as a necessary element.
the awareness was sudden, and complete.
i did not want my personal opinion
validated…
i wanted to be seen as
the smartest person in the room.
i immediately disengaged.